When you really pay attention and notice the energy that is wasted on negativity, I find it quite phenomenal. It takes so much more energy to fight than it does to love (not to mention it feels quite rubbish to boot!) Yet somehow, we fall into the same trap every time and keep allowing the negative vibes to flow. Why do we do it to ourselves? Never one to shy away from uncomfortable questions, it felt like a good time to try and explore this a little.
See I believe we all deserve to be loved, we all deserve respect, we all deserve to have a tribe of people that unconditionally believe in us and our abilities. And yes, of course, these things are all earned. But if we’re good people, who love, respect and believe unconditionally in others, then its perfectly reasonable to expect the same be granted in return.
Now thankfully, I’m pretty sure we all have these beautiful things around us in our friends and families. But I’m also pretty sure we all also have at least a degree of the opposite. Those people that want to focus on everything that’s wrong, that don’t respect you, that want you to stop believing in yourself. And somehow that minority gets a lot of time and energy. And I think it’s time we extinguished that energy and just left them to it! A fire can only burn if you provide it with the oxygen after all.
Now to be clear, saying enough is enough doesn’t necessarily need to be a big dramatic stomp away! It could just be a slight shift in your own mindset. Let me elaborate. Say you have a friend, and that friend loves and cares about you a lot. BUT they think you’re making a mistake with your latest venture. They’ve briefly googled all the reasons why they’re right. They’ll highlight the mistakes you’ve made that also prove they are right. They’ll encourage you to rethink your choice at every opportunity. Yes, it does come from a place of love and protection but this is still a negative energy. Now you’ll react in one of two ways (maybe even both). You’ll defend and fight and have all the counter arguments you can muster ready as your ammunition. Or you’ll allow just a little bit of self doubt to chip away at you. Blow by blow. Now add up all that wasted energy. From both sides. That serves neither of you.
So what about a different approach? The slight shift. Give that friend the respect to be honest. Thank them and appreciate them for loving you, for wanting to protect you. But ask them to grant you the same respect by agreeing to disagree. Suddenly you’ve freed up a whole load of energy for both of you. You’ve strengthened the relationship by taking the problem out of the equation. And I bet that friend will, from there on in, be your biggest secret admirer rooting for you to do what you set out to do. My money is on them being the first to congratulate your successes too. And you didn’t even have to walk away.
Now unfortunately, sometimes, walking away is all you can do. Sometimes the negativity will come from a place that isn’t love. A dark place that will not be there to help you grow. I don’t want to dwell on this for too long… but when you have this in your life, somehow you just know. And it takes strength to accept it and shut it down. In that scenario, you have to walk away. Because if you surround yourself in too much of this, eventually your dreams and goals will just be a distant memory of what you used to be.
So back to the original point I wanted to make. You will have plenty of positive people all around and I’d encourage you to cherish them, enjoy them, be grateful that they’re there. You’ll have plenty of people that care but inadvertently bring a sprinkle of the bad stuff and this is where you shift your thinking and dispel the negativity. And you might end up having to walk away occasionally because the damage if you don’t is too catastrophic. But remember everything is a choice, and you choose who’s around you.
A smile is contagious 😊 A frown is too 😔 Laughter is contagious 🤪 Anger can be too 😡
Choose your people wisely ❤️
Laters lovelies 😘