Why are we selectively social? 

Making a conscious effort to analyse yourself and understand your real strengths and weaknesses can be an uncomfortable journey. The hardest person to be honest with is often yourself. I mean who wants to admit they might just be a little bit rubbish at some things? And worse, who wants to admit that they didn’t see what was staring them right in the eyes? I’ll hold my hands up to both 🤚🏻🤚🏻

But it doesn’t just highlight your flaws. God, if self analysis was all about beating yourself up, that would be pretty depressing and no one would ever bother. And imagine a world where people had no idea of their own strengths? And no chance to improve their weakness? Nope, I can’t imagine that either. Sometimes it just makes you see really interesting things. And I want to share one of those now. 

I’m sure you’ve been asked at least once in your life Are you a sociable person? And if you haven’t been asked, I bet you’ve thought the question to yourself and you know your own answer for sure. Take my partner as an example. He knows* he’s not a socialable person. He can be social when he needs/wants to be but he fundamentally believes his preference is not to socialise therefore his personal answer to the question is a definite no. Now let’s look at me. My answer is a definite yes. I talk a LOT and I like being around people. But let’s delve a little deeper than that.

I have a great group of close friends and love talking to them, getting together with them, knowing what’s going on in their lives, sharing what’s going on in mine. As a group we know the lot, warts and all, about each other. Our conversations often border on the ‘too much information’ camp and yet we’ll still always go there anyway! And I like that. And then I have a wider group of friends that I also love chatting with. We get together less often but we chat on WhatsApp, we interact on each other’s Facebook posts, we care enough to keep up with what’s going on and we enjoy a good mammoth catch up every so often to fill in the gaps. Then the other thing I love is a houseful. Whether it’s friends and family coming for dinner or the kids friends coming for a play date or a birthday party at home. I just love the noise of a happy house. So it’s all these things that make my personal answer a definite yes. 

Now on to my interesting discovery about myself… There’s no doubt I’m a sociable person in my personal life. But… am I quite as sociable when it comes to my business? And I have to admit, no I’m not! And given I am my business, my brand, let’s be honest… that discovery is really a little silly! Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve said before, of course I talk about my products, people know I have my business etc etc. I know I’m not unsociable with it by any stretch. But I also know I generally stop there. I don’t share the brilliant light bulb moments, I don’t talk about the new skills I’m learning everyday, I don’t talk about the industry as a whole often enough… I almost keep a section of the business and treat it like it’s a secret society. And that is, quite frankly, madness! But the very fact I see that means I know what I need to work on next 👍🏻

Now fear not friends… I’m not saying I’m going to abandon the ‘too much information’ chats (they’re far too much fun to give up) and just talk business. All work and no play just isn’t part of my make up and you’ll never see me in that camp. All I’ll be doing is making sure I’m always me, sociable me, in whatever situation I’m in. 

So lovely people. Never be afraid to be honest with yourself. It can only be a good thing. After all, it gives you the chance to be a better version of the already awesome you. Laters lovelies ❤

*I say he knows. I think he is quite a sociable creature underneath really 😉


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