Know your why

Something I’ve become more and more aware of in the last 12 months is knowing how important it is to know why you’re doing whatever it is you’re doing. Because with anything that requires love, attention, effort, some nurturing… well, you need to be really clear on why your energy is justified to go there.

I really believe this is true of anything in your life. Whether it’s work, relationships, a hobby, a business, house improvements, the list is endless. And it’s true because with everything in life, there will be some tough bits. Days when you need to dig deep and just graft and get on with it  – days and tasks that would feel a hell of a lot easier and more achievable if you’ve taken the time to work out why it’s important.

Let’s take the example of home improvements – something of an ongoing chore for the last 5 years of my life! It’s only really the last 6 or 7 months that I’ve forced myself to focus on why. Up until that point I just slogged on (badly without any order!) getting more and more disheartened by the slow progress, to the point where everything stopped. And what was left was pretty much a house full of started tasks with nothing actually complete. And my why simply disappeared and was buried amongst the rubble and mess. The desire to plan was non existent and I just allowed myself to believe, whatever the original plan, it was unachievable.

But never one to be defeated, I’ve forced myself to remember why it has to be achievable, why it has to happen, and why there are no alternatives. I’ve not just thought about – I’ve written it down. And by writing it down, small bite sized chucks that will get me one step closer, have just revealed themselves. Small achievable steps that will make a difference. And the result? Well 1 complete room in just a couple of months versus the nada in 4 and a half years! And it feels good 😊 And by Christmas this year, they’ll be a couple more rooms complete – because that’s what I’ve planned and I know why it’s worth the effort πŸ’ͺ🏼πŸ’ͺ🏼

So let’s move this to why I continue with my business. I mean seriously, I am busy. I have 2 young kids which live with me 90% of the time (divorced but that’s a whole other blog!) I have cricket club, cubs, ballet classes and more recently judo to fit in the week. I work ‘almost’ full time (I leave early 1 day a week to pick the kids up from school – happens to be my favourite day of the week 😊). I have the previously mentioned ‘project house’. I have a partner who has 2 kids of his own that live with us for a good bulk of the time. I have friends I love seeing. I have a normal busy life like probably all of you reading this has! So why on earth continue with a business as well? Which requires time, effort and dedication? Well simply because I know why.

Now why is very personal to you. My why will be wildly different to yours, I have no doubt about that. Why is mine, and quite rightly too. You have to own it. I own mine. I have 20 post it notes each with a single why written on it. I do love a post it! And I do love a why ❀ Just an example of 1 of mine – picking the kids up from school just 1 day a week isn’t enough. I miss them, they miss me. I want to pick them up every day. So it’s on a post it.

Every time I doubt whether the effort and time is worth it I look at my top 20. Now it’s not quite as simple as that of course. I don’t just read it and plough on regardless. I look at what I will be doing if I don’t do the business thing. I then ask myself 3 questions:

  1. Right now, in this moment, which is more important?
  2. What will happen if don’t spend this time on the business?
  3. What will happen if I don’t spend this time on the other thing (whatever it is)?

And once I’ve asked myself those questions, I make an informed choice. And that choice is always linked to my why. Sometimes I decide that my babies need me more (they are my number 1 why, so if they need me, they come first). Sometimes I decide that quality time with my partner is more important. Sometimes there is something that will have more consequences if I don’t dedicate the time to that, even if I would prefer to be putting the time into my business. But a lot of the time, my informed choice is that the hour of time is worth it because there’s nothing that will break if I do it. But my next goal might not happen (or break) if I don’t.

So never underestimate how important it is to know why you’re doing anything. If you know, you’ll only ever put effort into what’s important. You’ll naturally stop wasting time on stuff that just doesn’t matter. And suddenly time will open up and allow you to focus on all the important things. No matter how busy you are.

Now, Ed Sheeran, he’s on now at Glastonbury! And I really want to watch! So I’ll leave you to enjoy your evening (I’ll enjoy mine πŸ˜‡)

Love to you all. Laters lovelies xx 😘

forever.emmav@yahoo.com

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