Here’s a topic I’ve wrestled with a lot. I say I’ve wrestled… what I mean by that is I’ve spent a lot of time justifying my openness to those that love me. You see, many of my loved ones think I show too much, think too much… then by default, say too much. I’ve wrestled because inside, I’m just saying and showing what I see, think, feel. So the question that has to be asked… when is the line between openness and privacy/behind closed doors crossed? Damned if I know! But let’s explore it anyway.
For me, the first port of call (and the most difficult) is that thing they call instinct. Believe me, this thing has got me into all sorts of trouble! Acting instinctively comes with its issues for sure. If your instinctive reaction affects you and only you, well that’s plain sailing. But the second that reaction relies on the reactions of others… well, it’s no longer your instinct. It’s your instinct relying on someone else having the same gut feeling. Oh dear, it’s confusing to write… Never mind to experience! We all perceive things differently, and all those perceptions are our own realities. Each and everyone of us. So it’s no wonder conflict arises when one person perceives some information as too much, while someone else just doesn’t. Just yesterday I was met with a ‘too much information’ comment. My response (damn that instinct!) ‘No such thing’.
Then there’s another issue. People who believe that others thrive on people’s weaknesses. Some of my nearest and dearest fall into this catergory. And I don’t disagree entirely! In fact, I love that they look out for me and keep my eyes open to that reality. Oh, and guess what, I have been burned by people doing exactly what my nearest and dearest have warned! The downside to openness is that everyone knows what you’re all about and should people choose to take advantage of that… well, you’re wide open to it! However, why should you become someone different and attempt to wrap yourself in cotton wool to protect yourself from others? I know if I’d done that, I’d have missed out on so many great people, missed some pretty special bonds and relationships, and likely missed out on a whole load of fun too! My ‘too much information’ stance has lead me to many of my favourite people in the world. So instead of changing who we are, why can’t we just change our mindsets and learn to deal with the bad only if it happens.
Now obviously, there are inevitably things you don’t need to tell the world. I’m well aware this contradicts my earlier no such thing as too much information statement. But let me defend it with this. While I may not tell the world absolutely everything, it doesn’t mean I haven’t had some rather cringeworthy conversations over the years with the people I’m proud to call my circle.
So that I guess brings me to what I think is the answer to can we be too open? I really think, as long as you know your boundaries (toilet habits on a first date might be too much 😉), you can’t be. Everybody we meet deserves the real YOU. Because that’s how true bonds are created. That’s where you find the ones that really matter. And yes, the odd rogue may slip through the net and granted, it’s not the nicest feeling. But hey, you get over it because you have to. On the flip side, the times you can turn to people when you need them, because they really know you, just because you’ve been nothing but the real you, far outweighs those little blips.
So don’t be afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve. It’s not a sign of weakness. It’s the sign of a big heart. And with a big heart, IF you need it, they’ll always be someone to help break the fall.
Laters lovelies xx